thesis

In this article the steps to outline a thesis are clearly displayed.  When these steps are followed the reader can easily tell where the thesis begins and ends.  It also allows the thesis to be easily understood by the reader.  The student essay was similar to my own writing in which it gave many details.  However, the thesis the student provide was much more clear and could be easily found.

Making a Thesis Evolve

The main point that stood out to me in this chapter was the idea that we should imagine we have muliple theses that mix and work together throughout the paper. When done correctly this will look like one big thesis that evolves into many different ideas related to the topic. My writing tends to have one idea that gets repeated throughout the paper instead of evolving like the example at the end of the chapter.

The Last Stop

In "The Last Stop" Cable examines a modern day funeral home. In the essay he makes assumptions about what he thinks funeral homes should look like. One mistake was that these places would have gardens with wonderful, colorful plants, and that it would be out of the day to day life. Instead was he found was an old building, that looked like a church, in the center of town. Another key mistake was thinking that an undertaker was a dark, gloomy man. The man he met in the story was just another business owner trying to make money in his profession.
Cable's essay did a great job describing Goodbody Mortuaries. I thought that this place sounded much like the funeral homes that i've been to, with a welcome feeling, and soft-spoken people who are there to help. Also, Cable did a good job expressing his new understanding of the dead. This will help me write my paper because it teaches to properly explain how an experience has changed your view of something.

Befriending Barbie

This essay about the popularity and special meaning Barbie has was quite intesting to me. Being a guy, I knew Barbie exsisted but would have never guessed that there were collectable Barbies much less that they were popular. Also, I had never heard of a Barbie convention. Honestly when I saw the title I was dreading doing this blog, however after reading I had a new perspective on a subject that I didn't know anything about. One of the key things in the story is where you hear people using Barbie to get though difficult times in their lives. This story helps me because many times I will get a subject that I don't want to write about, but this proves if you just give it a chance and look into it a little more maye it won't be as bad as you think.

Why a black semi truck?

This article does not give a strong image to go off of to analyze this ad. This ad is about women being strong and feminine. The pink represents the feminine aspect of women. The black semi represents that just because women are strong like the semi, they are not classic and sexy as well. As we discussed with the minivan commercial, black vehicles signify classic and also add a sex appeal if used properly. With the models clothes being skimpy and the ad embracing women the black represents the sexiness that some women desire. The company behinds the ad thinks that women who desire to be feminine, strong, and sexy will buy their product. 

Tommy Hilfiger

Is it clear which is strong and which is beautiful--the truck or the model?
I think it is pretty clear which is beautiful and which is strong.  The truck is the strong and the model is beautiful.  The model is beautiful because they are  selling there product, so they want them to look beautiful.  And the truck is strong because that is what they are trying to sell, a strong truck.
Alex Clayton

Tommy Hilfiger

Why is she wearing work gloves and a hat? Why aren't the gloves pink?
She is wearing work gloves because they are trying to persuade women who are sportsman to buy their clothes. It says horseriders or outdoorsman wear our things and can look good in them. The reason they aren't pink is because that personality would not wear pink gloves. They want it to look rugged and like a worker.

Tommy Hilfiger Ad

Is this an effective ad? Is it sexist? What makes it effective or sexist? Could it be both? This ad is an effective ad. Since the ad has all different races of people, all different age groups, men, women, and children, shapes and sizes, it makes the ad effective and also non-sexist. It shows that everyone could and should wear Tommy Hilfiger, no matter what might be different from the person next to them. It shows the group having a good time outside enjoying the day, almost as if they are tailgating. The ad is not sexist but definitely effective because it does show all the different character traits of people. It shows children, teenagers, adults, blondes brunettes, curly hair, straight hair, white people, and black people. Mallory Parrish

Soft N Dri

This is a more delicate question, but how would the ad be different with an Asian model? An African-American model? A man dressed in pink? Changing the model to any one of these three would break the argument that the white letters in the word "Strong" possible had to due with an assumption of racial superiority. The pink letters could stay the same regardless of the race if the model was a female, however if the model was a man with these pink letters the significance to audience changes vastly. These pink letters spelling out beauty along with pink clothes could possibly hint toward a much more effeminate man thus possibly connecting the advertisement and product to the male gay community. This is not 100% certain but it is just a possible assumption one could make if they saw this hypothetical advertisement. There are many stereotypes present about all races, the African American community for example is sometimes seen to be confrontational and aggressive. This coupled with the advertisements use of the word "Strong" may cause the audience to have a much different perspective on the advertisement than if an Asian model was used. I set up this parallel because of the fact that a stereotype affixed to the Asian community is that of passiveness and timidity. In actuality these stereotypes mean absolutely nothing; we as a society are subjected to thousands of different advertisements and ideas in different forms of media which push us to be cognizant of these ignorant generalizations about entire races of people. So to sum this all up, depending on the stereotype attached to the group that the model would be identified as a part of, the stronger or weaker an argument/advertisement can become.   

Tommy Hilfiger,

Why  a semi-truck?
When I think of a semi truck, I think of this massive scary menace on the highway. Its the kind of thing you try in all your power to avoid driving near. Well in the ad, by having a semi truck, makes the girl in this ad more powerful and stronger. In that, because its deodorant, its probably a way to say: this deodorant is so powerful, sweat would not want to even try to mess with this girl. By the windshield saying "PRINCESS OF THE OPEN ROAD,"   it is literally saying, she owns the road and controls what happens on it. This is a metaphor for this deodorant is giving her the power to not sweat. She controls it.

White model, white word...?

Do you think there is any relationship between the whiteness of the model and the fact that the word "strong" is also in white? Why wouldn't it be the same color as the truck?
There is definitely a relationship between the race of the model and the color of the word "strong." For starters, in America, who is strong? Powerful? It's a delicate issue, but white people have most of the power in America, and most of them are men. It's just a fact. Our first president of any race other than white wasn't elected until a few years ago, and for the majority, Congress is made up of white men. Most CEOs are white and male. One of the biggest examples of this white power is described in Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man. The main character is a young black man, and he works in a paint factory that makes and supplies the white paint that is put on all the memorials and the White House. To make the paint its whitest and purest, a drop of black is mixed in it. Can you say underlying message? The U.S. is governed by whites, but it is only strong because there are black people working and living here as well. In short, the color white in America is portrayed and viewed as powerful and strong, which is why the model is also white. They reciprocate one another. "Strong" isn't the same color as the truck because the truck represents masculinity, and Soft and Dri is deodorant for women, so it's marketed to women. You can take the same message from Invisible Man and apply it to men and women in the power struggle. Women are the black paint figuratively and literally. "Behind every good man is an even better woman." Women play important roles in America, and although the situation has improved, the fact is a woman still makes 75 cents to every dollar a man makes. That is also why the truck is black. You can reference that back to World War II. When the men went to war, the women went to factories and made weapons and trucks and everything else. It's strong and powerful like a man, but it isn't a man--it's a woman. It represents the strength of women. In this ad, Soft and Dri is saying that women are and can be both strong and beautiful.

Soft-N-Dry

Is it clear which is strong and which is beautiful- the truck or the model? Yes it is very clear which is strong and which is beautiful. The women is dressed in bright beautiful clothes, that is tight and shows her body. She is also blonde headed and beautiful. The truck on the other hand is huge and menacing. It looms in the background and just seems intimidating. So the women and beautiful and the truck and strong.

soft-n-dri

Why did the folks put the model in pink?  What does pink suggest?  The model was wearing pink because pink is the stereotypical color for a "pretty girl" to wear.  Pink is the first color that most people think of when something is considered pretty or beautiful.  Pink makes the model appear more girly than any other color would.  From birth girls are told to love pink.  When baby girls are born most of their clothes, toys and Utensils are pink.  Pink is contrasted to power of the truck in the background.

Soft-N-Dri

How about the text copy at the bottom-what do you make of the use of the phrase "long haul"?
The phrase "long haul" makes me think of smelly truck drivers and the long and endless drives they go on.  This makes me believe that this product will work for a long period of time, and in the worst of conditions.  It is presented in a way that makes it seem durable and long lasting just like the black truck would be on a long trip.  At the same time it is made clear that it is also a feminine product with the addition of the woman in a pink wardrobe. 

tommy Hilfiger

Does this version of America reflect mainstream American values? I think that this ad reflects some mainstream American values. One aspect of American values that it does not reflect is people working to be able to relax and enjoy finer things. Anybody that is able to wear nice clothes and is able to be hanging out at a country club has probably worked hard in order to get money. In prevoius years women were not seen as workers and were just around to look pretty. That is not the case anymore. Now women are holding the same jobs men do and are not portrayed as people who just hang around at a country club. Most of America is actually middle to lower middle class and the country club setting and nice clothes does not portray this. One reason why I think this ad does reflect mainstream American values is I feel like most people strive to be able to be the people in the ad. Most people try and get good jobs and make money so they can enjoy the nicer things in life.
Morgan Samples

tommy hilfiger

Why is she wearing leather work gloves and a hat?  She is standing by a big truck that says " princess of the open road", so the gloves may be used for driving purposes. The pink gimme cap is just there to make her out fit look better.  It seems like it wants you to think by wearing a hat, and having a big semi truck, that girls can look good and fashionable and drive big trucks too.

Tommy Hilfiger

How would the ad be different with an Asian model? An african american model? A man dressed in pink?
I think what stood out to me the most about this ad was the fact that the picture was what a typical american setting would look like. The people that this company is trying to appeal to are the "all-american" type of people. I think if there was an asian model, some people who tend to buy this product would stop buying it. Not saying I agree with that at all, but the typical american man would not approve of an ad with an asian modeling something that is supposed to represent America. Also, if a man was wearing pink in this ad, I think it would have the same affect. Usually the buyers of these clothes are conservative southerners. This means that they have conservative values. Seeing a man in pink could be taken as feminine. This ad is definitely meant to show the perfect American life.
Molly Adams

Tommy Hilfiger AD

The part that stuck out to me the most was the pretty happy people sitting together.  Given the fact that this is a clothing commercial and all of the people wearing the clothing are very good looking and happy, the company is trying to show that if you buy the Tommy Hilfiger clothing you will be more happy and good looking.  This idea is used very commonly in many different categories of advertisement.  You will never see someone using the product that is being advertised neither ugly nor unhappy.  By having the models all good looking and happy it shows that although this will not change your life or you physical features, it will present you in a way that is more good looking and happier. 

Soft-N-Dry

Why is she wearing work gloves (leather) and a hat? Why aren't the gloves pink?
The girls in the ad is wearing work gloves to show that she isn't a "girly girl." She is not afraid to get her hands dirty but can still by a lady by using Soft-N-Dry. She is wearing a hat to add to the fact that she doesn't have to have perfect hair and can get her hands dirty. The gloves aren't pink because if they were the audience would lose the aspect of her not being a girly girl. The pink gloves would cause the company to lose credability on selling the tough girl side of their add.

Tommy Hilfiger AD

The sense of racial harmony evoked by the people of various ethnicities laughing together is what stands out to me. The AD is describing America and how happy and stylish the people are. When most people think of the typical American person, they will think of a white man or woman. However, these days America has become the melting pot of the world and it is filled with so many interesting cultures. It is a great step in our culture to have African Americans being put in popular AD's like this that all the world will see. It shows how much our society is beginning to see equality in all. The AD shows different races displaying happiness and true friendship. The only downfall is that only African Americans and white people are in the AD. The AD would show better racial harmony if they added a Chinese or Native American person. Then it would display a better mix of culture.

((Tommy Hilfiger 2010 AD)

Pick a question from the "Reading and Writing about Advertising," and ANSWER the question asked as best you can about the ad being analyzed. Also, make sure it is a question that no other student has asked thus far. You would probably answer the questions differently, but THAT MEANS you need to go read everyone's post before yours and make sure you're not repeating someone. (If you can't find anymore questions, post a repeat and email me). GOOD LUCK!! (PS you are not writing about the ad above. It is just decor).

Making a thesis evolve

     As I read this article, a few things stood out to me about writing a thesis. When it states, "If you think of an essay as an act of thinking, then the evolutions of the thesis record the history of your various changes in thinking as you confronted evidence," stood out to me because I tend to change my thesis, or the way I think about my paper many times. When I write my papers, it takes so much time to write, that over time I realize more and more evidence or claims that should be made clear. Another thing that stood out to me was that even in final drafts, the thesis develops through successive complications and it doesn't remain static. Rather than just stating a thesis to make obvious the main part of an essay, we have to have evidence to back up each point, or it won't be understood. I would have never thought of a thesis as "evolving," but this article clearly states that a strong thesis comes from carefully understanding and questioning the subject to back up the meaning that is not completely obvious to the readers. I personally have a hard time coming up with thesis statements for essays, but this article allowed me to understand the more in depth meaning and structure of a thesis. When I was in the process of writing my paper, I didnt start off with a thesis, unlike the draft in the booklet. Rather than starting off with one and changing it throughout the essay, I waited until the end. Although, before writing my paper I did watch the video numerous times to try and gather every piece of evidence and observation that was important.

Making a Thesis Evolve

This reading helped me realize about the actual thought and effort that is really needed to complete a good paper. One of the key things to do when writing the thesis is to question what you are writing and see if the debatable thesis statement actually covers it. If it doesn't then the thesis is too broad and generic and not going to get the point of the paper across as well as you could. One of the biggest differences I saw between that of my writing and the writing done in the packet was that the thesis was very broad and generic, unlike mine which was directed at one topic in particular. Also I feel that the concluding paragraph was somewhat weak and I can relate to that almost every time I write a paper, its always the hardest part.

Thesis

The thesis of a paper is one of the main ways a reader gets  interested in a paper, so it is very important to build a strong thesis in order to show the main points in a paper. Actually constructing the thesis may not even happen till the paper is completely done. The thesis is a connecting point for the reader of the main ideas of the paper. It is not a repetition of the main idea though either. One needs specific detail in your thesis to be able to analyze. Having the opposite view point of your thesis will help play off the preferred idea off the opposite. By starting the thesis statement off with although or while it seems, will create the tension in the thesis statement. With a list like description, one must be careful not to show their position on a idea when not necessary or needed. Leaving the interpretation up to the reader is the goal, instead giving the readers stand on a idea. Drawing conclusions is important, rather than just describing something and giving the details about it. Building the thesis up showing clear points is important at the beginning so the reader has better understanding of the paper. Mallory Parrish

Thesis Evolve

One aspect of a thesis that I did not know was that it should not be obvious to the readers. I thought that the thesis was just a summary of your paper and a main idea. Another thing that I did not know about making a thesis is that is should not be a fact and should actually make the readers question it. I found it interesting that in order to think of a good thesis you should question the material you are writing a paper on. Also, I think its interesting that in a thesis statement there should be two ideas that cause tension and the writer has to argue that the one point is better than the other. I really found the analogy of the thesis being a lens interesting. It made sense how they said, "the thesis directs the writers way of looking at evidence and the analysis of evidence should also direct the thesis." My thesis is different than that of the example because I do not make my thesis statements as generalized. One aspect of my writing that I struggle with is coming up with the so what? In this example the writer clearly states a so what at the beginning and then goes on to explain it. Another reason why the example is different than my writing is because when I describe observations I exaplain them and do not leave them undeveloped. I also struggle with staying to one thesis throughout the paper just like the example.

Developing a thesis?

The main thing that stood out to me was that the thesis will change after revision.  I learned this in our last paper, because the more I kept reading my paper the more I realized that what my thesis was, was not my main claim.  Another point that stood out to me is that a thesis doesn't just come automatically.  I have found it easier to write the paper first and then come up with a thesis.  The only thing I need to keep working on is developing the thesis throughout the whole paper.

Alex Clayton

Thesis

When I first came into college I considered myself a pretty decent writing. However, I soon realized that I was good by high school standards, but didn't write dynamically enough to be a successful writer in college. That being said I need to be more similar to the article and let my thesis develop throughout the paper. The idea of a working thesis will increase the dynamics of any paper. Also, a working thesis will help your paper flow from point to point instead of just being based around three main ideas.

Colton McKinney

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

In this article many different ways in which a thesis can evolve were outlined. However, something that really stood out to me was the list of steps that one should take in order to evolve a thesis throughout one's either paper. These steps were essentially telling the writer to start off with a basic thesis that outlines the statement which the writer is trying to make about what ever the paper may be about. Then after this, through the use of additional information that might not essentially fit your thesis, the writer will begin to tell the audience how this information doesn't fit the thesis and the writer will then tailor the thesis until, by the end of the paper, it is as accurate as possible. Another interesting point I found in the article was the method of pitting one side against another and eventually becoming able to, through the use of evidence, to take away the validity or superiority of the opposing side. By doing this the thesis would become much more accurate by creating a tension between the two and allowing one side to win based on the amount of evidence you the writer provides. The difference between my thesis and the first exploratory draft is how well the summary of important points about the topic went until eventually the thesis was placed at the end of the intro. I had difficulty composing an introduction that would work as well as the one from the article that would allow the thesis to be well received by the audience. Hopefully I apply some of this information on theses in order to make the paper better over all.      

Thesis

I did not realize all that goes into creating a strong thesis. In the thesis itself, its really important to not restate what is already said in the question, which I know I struggle with. The thesis effect hows the evidence is seen by the reader and the evidence backs the thesis in a reciprocal relationship. Since the writer is connecting the evidence to the thesis, the writer can connect the different main ideas of your different paragraphs. The hard part is trying to connect both the thesis and the evidence together to create an actual paper. In my writing, I have always  worked had on my thesis, but I have never thought to spend so much time analyzing every part of it. This is partially because I have never known what to look for when I analyze and revise my thesis. Hopefully, now that I know what is  expected in the thesis, it will be easier to write a strong thesis.

Thesis

One of the thing that caught my attention is the idea of back pressure.  This is when the writer gives information on ideas that reject the claim.  This is done to show a different point of view to strengthen the argument.  The opposite point of view makes the reader consider both sides giving the claim something to be compared to.  My writing is similar to the one in the chapter in the way that both make a claim.  The thesis in the book is easier to see than mine.  However, both are supported with great detail.

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

Writing the thesis of any paper is always the hardest thing. Personally, I feel like a thesis is supposed to be the most important part of your paper that ultimately proves what your whole paper is trying to say. This article proves how many different ways you can come up with your thesis. I never expected there to be so much information on a thesis, considering it is only usually one or two sentences. I learned from this article that your thesis does not have to be set in stone at the beginning of your paper. As you slowly evolve your paper, your thesis can and most likely will be evolving also. Evidence throughout your paper must support your thesis. You start with a working thesis then you have confirming evidence, complicating evidence, and then your revised thesis. This process can continue on until you find your perfect one. My paper seemed like it was close to explanatory student. Both trying to create a strong thesis/statement.

Is your thesis evolving?

While reading this chapter what really stood out to me was how the thesis actually evolves. You can start out with a thesis in the beginning of the paper and then by using the evidence your thesis just gains momentum and by the end you can somewhat reword your thesis with more power because of the evidence you used to support it. One of the main points that I noticed was the section on what a good thesis statement looks like. Reading how to "put one possible point of view against another" made me see how to really kick off a paper. By doing that you create areas for you to explore right off the bat without even having to face "writers block." Another main point that grabbed my attention was that you shouldn't look for a thesis in your readymade material you are analyzing. It says to starting asking questions about the material deliberately lookin for a place where you detect some kind of problem to be solved. This made me understand that I need to take a step back and find out what my arguement is not simply rewording a sentence that I placed in my opening paragraph. My writing was similar to the student draft by having a thesis statement appear toward the end. My opening thesis was clear to me when I began drafting but by the time I was finished it blew me away how I tied everything together in the end just from the flow of my paper and the evidence that all led to a certain point in the end. The student used "i believe" to begin the flow of some of their sentences which greatly differed from my paper. I understood that my audience knew that these were my beliefs and didn't need to restate them.

Making a Thesis Evolve- Greg Guslani

            The three most important points I took out of this chapter talk about the obviousness, evolvement, and evidence in writing a strong thesis.  First, the chapter states that a thesis cannot be anything that is obvious to all readers.  The chapter encourages us as writers to pick a thesis that is controversial or that someone would not think of.  It is easy to argue the obvious answer and that is what leads to a weak thesis and essay.  Next, the chapter states that a good thesis needs evolvement.  A strong thesis will evolve throughout the paper and will continue to move on from the start to the finish of an essay.  Finally, the chapter stated that a strong thesis needs to have evidence.  Without clear and strong evidence, a paper has no concrete foundation or anything to back it up.  I thought that the thesis at the end of the chapter was pretty well written.  However, it is not how I normally write as I was always taught that when writing a thesis you need to list out the points of evidence you will be using (while still keeping the thesis broad). 

Making a Thesis Evolve

The statement that stood out the most to me was the definition of a strong thesis. It isn't immediately obvious to your audience, and the more complex it is, the more accurate it will become. When I think about my first thesis in comparison to my final one, it definitely evolved. My first thesis was mediocre and generic (teenagers are repressed by authority figures and are not given due attention). At the time, I thought it was pretty good, and for all intensive purposes, it was because it led to my final thesis. My final thesis was much more complicated and sounds much bolder (high school is a process of purification in America). After my thesis evolved, it became something that was not immediately obvious to my audience (my video was "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance). As for the sample paper, one major similarity I had was starting out with background information. I only gave a little background information because I wasn't really sure what to write about in my introductory paragraph. My paper was pretty much the same (presenting evidence, asking "so what," etc.), but my organization was completely different.

Evolving a Thesis

I never realized how important it was to limit a thesis. By limiting the thesis it will really help create a more unified paper, and focused paper rather than a bland generic one. Also, the chapter helped to point out how a thesis that has tension helps bring ideas take shape. I had never even thought of  that before that, but now I see how that would really add depth to the individual points. I feel that my writing is different from the draft at the end of the packet, because I like to fully set-up the ideas and explain how I arrived at them. However, they are similar in that I often also leave points rather open-ended so that others can draw their own conclusions.

Making a thesis evolve

The main thing that stood out to me was that the more your paper goes on, the more your thesis evolves. so, i think that this is telling us that your thesis is just a statement about your paper that needs to be proven by your information in the body of your essay.  The more stuff that you have to prove your thesis, the better it becomes.  That is why they say it is evolving.  Another main point is that you have to work at it.  It doesnt just come to you.  I wish it would, then the paper wouldnt be so hard.  My thesis is kind of similar to the one at the end of this reading.  It stands out and can be proven, and I'd like to think that mine can too.

Making a Thesis Evolve

As i was reading "making a Thesis Evolve" i came across several interesting facts that i didnt know, or that i thought was a good point. the first is a good point that i have been told in earlier english classes that i try to incorporate into my papers. it is the the thesis is there to provide the connective tissue, that holds the three main parts of a paper together. another point i didnt know that the paper mad clear to me was that a good thesis can be focused but putting it next to a different point of view of the subject matter. meaning to pressure the point, but to give it back up at the same time. i think the 6 steps to make a good thesis were a big part of the paper, in teaching the reader how to actually do what the subject of the paper is about. My writing is similar to the student writings in the back. i usually comie up with my thesis in my head as i get the subject material, then as i go i add to it. i expand it and focus it several times as i research information for my paper.

Is your thesis evolving?

One of the main things that stood out to me was that your thesis does not necessarily stay the same throughout your paper. It evolves with new ideas and facts about your evidence. My thesis is my drafts never stay the same. I usually change and edit my thesis a couple of times while typing my paper. In order to make a strong thesis, it has to have evidence to back it up instead of just generally stating something that you think about the paper. Repetition is a good thing, but over stated it in a paper continuously is very weak. It must have new ideas and thoughts to add to the repetitive statements. My paper is similar to this draft because i start off with background information and telling the reader what is going on with the subject i am writing about. I then go back and look at my evidence and present an argument about it throughout the paper. It is very important to answer the questions that are being brought up, so that you have something to focus on when you are writing. The writing is different than mine because it  is organized better than some of my papers, and it tends to flow well and has a well thought out argument.

-Mary Sullivan

Right off the bat one point that really grabbed my attention was the fact that it says a thesis evolves as the paper goes on. I had never really thought of it like this before cause I kind of always just thought you write a paper then go back, see what it is about and make up a thesis. In reality however, you should have an idea of what your paper is going to revolve around when you start and then make a thesis and you can build off of it as you go. Another thing that stuck out to me is the fact that they say that you should not be too repetitive saying something was in the thesis. The main reason this stuck out to me is just because i think i do that a lot.  I think my writing is pretty similar to his but I could defiantly take some pointers from him.

Making A Thesis Evolve

When I read this article, the first thing I read was about a evolving thesis. I know this is something we have talked about in class and it really helped to read more about what it is that we have been learning about. Throughout highschool,no one ever mentioned to me the idea of a working thesis. I always just chose one and wrote my papers based off my thesis statement, but in this article it tells us to do the complete opposite.  It tells us to write your paper and have your  main point or thesis evolve based on what your overall story becomes. The second thing I noticed while reading this article was that repitition is not always a bad thing. This was a really good thing for me to read because when I am writing papers, I always wonder if it is okay to repeate myself so that the audience is fully understanding what I am trying to say.  I know not to repeate what I'm saying too much, but it's nice to know that sometimes repetition can be a good thing.

My writing in comparrison to the explanatory student is both similar and different. The content and the way she wrote about her topic is similar to the way I write my papers, we both give the information the best we can and try to make it a smooth transition from one subject or paragraph to another. However, our paper set up is different. She has many smaller paragraphs, where as I usually have a few larger ones. I have been trying to switch over to her orginizational style and I feel like this booklet will help.

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

The idea that obviously stood out the most in the reading is that a thesis should evolve. This point is restated throughout the reading. I agree with this idea, I feel like in high school teachers often asked you to write a thesis before anything else, and writing a thesis first often made me feel like it had to stay the same the whole time. So the idea that the thesis statement should change as the paper evolves is really helpful to me. Some other ideas that stood out was the fact that a thesis should have evidence that disproves it, as much as it had evidence that proves it. This makes you have to defend your evidence stronger than if there is no conflicting evidence. 

My writing is pretty similar to the student drafts. I usually write down what I see as the  most important evidence. Then I take this evidence to write a rough thesis statement. I then try to evolve my evidence into ideas that are not obvious, much like the student draft. Most of the time though, I have trouble evolving my evidence and begin to support my thesis with obvious reasons. I need to focus more on the complex evidence and reasoning rather than the obvious. I also need to work on evolving my thesis more. The rough thesis I usually write usually doesn't change much because I feel like it will change the meaning of my whole paper.

Thesis

When I read this article, there were a couple points that really stood out to me. First was that the thesis is not just going to come to you easily and quickly. It is not going to appear ready-made in the material, as it said in the article. I think many people get frustrated because it does take time and thinking to come up with a thesis. It is not just going to appear in the writing. Also another point that stood out to me was that a thesis is not determined weak by its repetitiveness but by its predictability. I think many times people think that there can never be any repetition in a paper. Yes, to much repetition is not good; but if a thesis is predictable and cannot to tested then it is not going to be good. I think my writing is similar to this because
at the beginning of this paper, I was frustrated because the thesis was not just coming to me. I had to really think and analyze what claim I wanted my paper to have.
Molly Adams

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

Something that stood out to me right away was the mention of how a thesis won't stay the same through revision. I know that through personal experience, my thesis has never stayed the same and with each draft it changes. Also I think the point being made that a thesis should not be predictable is important. As a reader you never want to read something expected. I agree that repetition is important, but sometimes it is hard to gauge if you are being too repetitive in your writing because then it starts to come off as boring. I think finding that balance of tying the evidence back to the thesis and just repeating your main points can be difficult. 
I think that the writing is similar to mine because it starts out with background information. I think that usually i start too broad with my writing and have trouble focusing in on something to argue about. Also, the writer seems to not fully answer the questions that are being brought up. I think that I also do this because I will form an idea but I will never fully say why it is important or how it ties back to the thesis. I think the writing is different than mine because it seems to flow better and sometimes I struggle with figuring out how to organize a paper in the most effective way possible. 

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

When reading this article a few key points stood out to me.  The first being that a thesis of a subject should not have been obvious to the reader.  You should make a claim that needs support and evidence that backs it up.  A thesis is continually changing and reformulated as you revise your paper.  Just restating the ideas you have clearly stated prior is not a thesis, you should find a problem that needs to be solved.  The thing I found most interesting, was the statement, that writers should find conflicting evidence and question the meaning of the claim made.  Do not run away or turn down the conflicting view.  Such complications are opportunities to improve the thesis.
My writing was similar to the draft, in the fact that when I first started, I was just writing down my observations, and what they meant to me as I saw them.  I did not have a thesis at the very beginning.  Unlike the student draft, there were multiple theses, whereas in my paper once I came up with one, I stuck to it.  I find it difficult to make theses, so once I get one I rarely revise it, which is something that I need to work on, in order to improve my papers.

Is Your Thesis Evolving?

(Above is the picture mentioned in your reading)

Writing a solid thesis was one of our main goals in the last paper, but thesis writing is something we all need to continue fine-tuning. So, as you read this chapter, what stood out to you? Write at least a paragraph on a few main points that really caught your attention, and compare your own writing to the exploratory student draft at the end of the paper. How was your writing similar or different? 

Female-Address Video 1983

What stuck out most to me in these videos is the rebelliousness of both of the women in their situations. They are standing up quite firmly for what they believe in and don't seem to be wanting to back down anytime soon. Personally, I think that the "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" video portrayed a bigger message because all of the actions, even down to the hand motions, seemed more involved and angst-y. The main ideas that I pulled from my video, "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise" by the Avett Brothers are, the cyclical style of human beings as well as the idea that something enormous can come from the smallest glimpse of it even happening. After watching the videos I was able to look more at the actions of the video itself rather then just trying to pick apart meanings of lyrics, this helped my viewpoints quite a bit.

Female-Address Video: 1984

I have heard both of these songs many times, but I had never seen either of the videos before. I have always considered Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield" to be a powerful and emotional song; however, I was a little surprised by the seriousness of the content of the music video. I think that Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefiled" is definitely the stronger video and song. My video is My Chemical Romance's "Teenagers." I think that the video is somewhat of a satire. The "all-American cheerleaders" are the ones using nightsticks like guns, and all of the "troubled goth kids" don't do anything until after the cheerleaders pull out the nightsticks. All the while, the lyrics are mocking authority figures who "sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you son." My claims: sometimes the most troubled are the ones who least look like it, and authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) need to take action instead cowering idly behind closed doors. I think these videos allowed me to observe my own video more objectively.

1983

1. The thing that struck me as the most interesting in these music videos were the outfits of the women in both videos.  Although more so in the Pat Benatar video, the women were dressed in fancy dresses that had been altered to show a less orthodox fashion.  This could have perhaps been portraying the message of the songs about women wanted to be able to do different things then they were expected to do in society.

2. I think that the Pat Benatar video had the stronger message.  Initially, the video captured my attention more as it had almost a creepy theme and was more memorable than the video for Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  One part that was especially powerful was when Benatar was in the bar and noticed the man harassing the random woman and stood up and got in his face.  This showed a big stretch for power of women and women standing up to men. 

3. From the video that I am working on, Walk this Way by Run DMC, I am able to make two conclusions.  First, I think that the video uses the costumes to show stereo types about the different groups of people.  Also, I think the video tries to show how music can bring people together no matter how different they are.  Watching these videos did actually help me in breaking down my music video because these had more obvious themes that allowed me to have a starting point in what to look for.